Anger is a feeling that tells me that I am hurt and I don’t want to be hurt. It is about what I don’t want. When I learn not to react to anger and look at it as a mirror, it identifies what I do want.The “gift of anger” is to be able to go after what I want instead of fighting with what I don’t want.
An anger problem is any anger-related behavior (verbal, physical, or emotional) that is hurtful to me or someone else.
Did you know:
- Anger is a healthy feeling
- Anger serves a constructive purpose and has a healthy message
- Anger can tell you what you don’t want
- Anger can tell you when, how and in what ways you are hurt
- Anger can tell you how deep that hurt is
- Anger can tell you how to heal that hurt
- The problem is not that you are wrong
- The problem is not that you were angry
- The problem is that you were out of control
- Anger that is aggressive, passive, depressive, or manipulative is likely to be destructive and hurtful
- Anger problems usually keep getting worse until they are addressed, responsibility is taken, and the behavior is changed